We started fostering our daughter at 2 years old, and she was amazing. Meeting milestones, loving us and our biological children, playing well with her half sibling, loving school, church, sports, and therapy, loving everything we did as a family. At 6 years old, her birth mom decided to sign over her rights due to fear of not being stable long term, and visits stopped shortly after the appeal period.
Our daughter started changing, slowly at first. We saw lying at school, asking to be adopted by teachers and staff, threatening to hurt other students, pushing kids her age and lying about what happened, and never satisfied with anything we did unless it was focused entirely on her. We sought out more intense therapies, but she told therapists what they wanted to hear, so we got discharged time and time again.
We actually started thinking it was us and not her, considering how convincing the lies were. By the age of 8, she was so extreme we had multiple DSS cases opened on us for outrageous claims. She was also in and out of residential facilities due to self harm and harming siblings. She would twist the truth and say we did it, even with video evidence, and still insist we were lying.
Now, at 13 years old, she has been in a facility for a year and a half with no end date in sight, due to self harm, harming others, attacking the weaker person, refusing to do anything asked, destroying property, running away from centers, cussing, fighting, refusing school and therapy, and hoarding medication to attempt an overdose.
We don't know what to do when she is discharged. We have been told it isn't up to the centers, it's determined by insurance approvals, which is hard considering she isn't the only child in the home. If trained staff at a controlled center can't manage her behavior, how are we supposed to? Our church has been amazing, but some people are scared to get too close, worried about what allegations they might face if they do.
