From the Trenches: Honest Accounts from RAD Warrior Families

Before we adopted, I had heard one or two horror stories about (what I now know as) RAD and how it manifests in families. We chalked it up to families not doing enough. Not understanding trauma. Not learning a language (like I did). Not cocooning. Not advocating. You name it, I thought I was going to do it better. I even wrote a book about how to do it because I was determined that I was going to fix everything. That I was enough. That love was enough.

Until it wasn't.

This is the ongoing story of one of our Salvo families. This is who we fight for.

After struggling with infertility for about 5 years, my husband and I felt God calling us to foster/adopt. After a lot of prayer and research, we felt he was really calling us to foster in a local county. Our second placement was a sassy, energetic almost 3 year old child who had witnessed and experienced every trauma you could think of. We were brand new foster parents and clueless as to what the future would hold. For the first few years, we kept saying "she has toddler behaviors, but they are a little extreme." Then we noticed the behaviors worsening as she started school and as she continued to get older. If she was told no or did not like what her situation was at home, she would hit, kick, spit, bite, scream and rage for upwards of an hour and forty-five minutes. We got her into therapy at the age of three and psychiatry at the age of 5. We also started our own research and enrolled her into equine therapy at the age of 4. We were told by the specialists that if we got her into attachment therapy at 3 years old, that she would be "fine." We participated in two and a half years of therapy, tried a number of modalities but behaviors worsened. She would hide under tables, run around the treatment room and hiss like an animal.

At school, she was reported throwing chairs, touching peers inappropriately, raging at teachers, hitting and spitting on teachers and much more.

In 2020, we finalized her adoption. All of the specialists said that this permanency would help her settle in and be part of the family. They couldn't have been more wrong.

At the age of 9, she told her therapist that she poisoned me (her adoptive mother) by keeping her evening pills and dropping them in my drink. A few months after this she threatened to kill me (her adoptive mother) and her younger sister. The next day in school she calmly sat and told the school her detailed plan to kill me which included knives that we have in our home. She said she wanted me to suffer. The school called stating they were concerned for our safety and said she needed to go to the ER immediately. Children's ER essentially mocked us, stating that she was "only 9 years old" and that a 9 year old really cannot hurt adults. She stayed there for 36 hours while we "secured our home with indoor security cameras, fingerprint and combination locks.

She is now 11, and has similar behaviors. Rages almost daily at home and has a number of issues at school. We not only feel like prisoners in our own home, but do not have felt safety in our own home either. This has been one of the most devastating and difficult journeys of our life.

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From the Trenches: Honest Accounts from RAD Warrior Families

May 18, 2026

"Our family is currently navigating the heartbreaking reality of trying to find appropriate healing, stabilization, and long-term support for our son. He has significant trauma-related emotional, behavioral, and attachment needs stemming from severe early childhood adversity while in utero and foster care. He currently has diagnoses including PTSD, along with significant disruptive behavioral symptoms and possible Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Professionals familiar with his case have also identified severe Reactive Attachment Disorder traits. His struggles impact nearly every aspect of daily family life." Salvo Family E

Mother's Day 2026

By Bri Morris • May 10, 2026

Do you want to know something about me? Something I’ve hidden so well for so long? I dread this day, Every. Single. Year. YES. I dread Mother’s Day. For me, it is a day full of unbearable grief, loss, sadness, and feelings of paralyzing hopelessness. My heart breaks at the brokenness of adoption that made me a mom to begin with. The loss…the primal wound, the guilt, sadness, and shame of abandonment. At its core, adoption begins with immense tragedy, trauma, and loss which is oftentimes overlooked. Many people see adoption solely through the lens of beauty, joy, and redemption. But redemption by definition is to be rescued from evil or sin. Last time I checked, no one needs to be rescued from beauty or joy… I never thought I’d be the nurturing enemy to the two kids who made me a mom. The person they hated the most because my love for them left them feeling too vulnerable. I couldn’t have possibly fathomed six years ago that our marriage would nearly be destroyed by their fearful manipulation and false allegations. But here we are. And it breaks my heart. I never imagined that I’d have to live with such grief around infertility and miscarriages.That I’d have to navigate my own feelings of failure and disappointment, and wishing that I didn’t have to suppress my tears around letting my family down, just so I can get out of bed in the morning. I have always longed to be a Mother. To teach, to learn, to grow together and invest in my OWN family. I’ve been given the gift of investing in so many other kiddos and families as a nanny, and that has been one of my life’s greatest blessings. But I never once expected that I’d be robbed of that opportunity in my own family. I know many of us Moms carry so many different reasons for why today is hard. We each have our stories, our losses, our deep grief. We wrestle with our own thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and shortcomings. But today, instead of wishing you a “Happy” Mother’s Day, I just want you to know that it’s okay to not always feel happy. I see you and I’m here for all the UNHAPPY pieces, too. I wrote this back in 2024 for Mother's Day. And while much of it still rings true today, I want to acknowledge what is different this year. This year, 2026, the paralyzing hopelessness is less paralyzing. It's more like an unwelcome visitor every once in a while. I can dismiss it more quickly. Move through it with more confidence. And look ahead when all I seemed to ever do for the last 16 years was look behind me. I never thought this would be possible. Even last year. I thought I would be stuck, left to grieve for the rest of my life. And yes, there is still grief. But it's not all that there is. Today, I can see a clear path ahead, and a gracious, faithful God when I look back. I can see His hand all along, moment by moment, step by step, making a way in the wilderness. Every tear. Every time I curled into a ball because it was all I could do. Every question, every fear, and every "why" feel like they have meaning and purpose, now. It has never been more clear to me... that purpose is Salvo. So I just want to reiterate, that whatever feelings Mother's Day 2026 brings up for you, know that those feelings are real and valid. And they are also not the end of your story . They are part of the bigger picture and a greater plan, however dark it may feel in the middle of the storm. We have a God that uses ALL THINGS for His glory. There is purpose in our pain. And until He reveals that purpose, Salvo will be in the trenches, fighting alongside you.

From the Trenches: Honest Accounts from RAD Warrior Families

"This has been one of the most devastating and difficult journeys of our life."

From the Trenches: Honest Accounts from RAD Warrior Families

Mother's Day 2026

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Supporting post-adoptive families with resources, crisis support, and stabilization services.

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